i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
