One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
