Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
