is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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