If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
