He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
