I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
