yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
