how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
