I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
