and my herpes radar will keep us safe
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
