Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
