How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
