is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
