Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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