I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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