Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
