Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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