Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
COCAINE IS GR8
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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