i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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