If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
