i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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