ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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