In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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