This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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