Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
this hospital has no fireball
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
