Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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