Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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