We're like a lot better than the average bears
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
