He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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