I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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