Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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