You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
