If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
