you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
