Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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