I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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