it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
