then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
