I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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