Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
