i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
