I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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