my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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