fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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