my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
