If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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