I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
