mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
