The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
