so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
