Four minutes until I can fart!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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