We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize