thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
