Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
