i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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