Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
