is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
