your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
