Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i would punch a child for taco bell
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
