I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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