Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
