You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
