matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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