yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
