we made out on top of his cat.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
