Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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