what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize