everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
