Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
time to smoke my breakfast
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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