i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize