can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing âHappy Birthdayâ to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, âWhy didnât you sing along?!?â I responded, âI donât know him. I donât give a shit if he has a happy birthday.â
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