im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
