playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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