i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He better not be in your backpack
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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