News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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