porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
