Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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