I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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