I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
